Follow my new blog, yo

Hello people!

After barely ever posting on this blog, I ambitiously created a new one. Follow it at I’ve always wanted to create a healthy lifestyle blog… so I finally did. I’ll post random rants, recipes and all things happy, healthy and encouraging!

Just a new fun, creative outlet — since apparently I don’t have enough of that in my life.


Being more aware of what we say

The other day I was utterly appalled when someone I know made a rape joke. A group of people I was in walked past a woman standing alone on the street in the dark and as we passed, he said, “Oh, that lady was standing all alone. Should we go back and rape her real quick?”

No, it wasn’t intended to harm anyone and no, it wasn’t a big deal, just a harmless comment — to him. But it really bothered me. I couldn’t believe that people actually make jokes like this. I mean, I know it happens… but really? Come on dude. What does that even mean? Like what did he hope to accomplish by saying that?

In the moment, I simply told him that rape jokes are never okay and to please never say that around me again. But I wish I would have had the chance to explain why.

As a woman, I am told not to stand or walk on the street by myself at night. Always find someone to walk you home. I love running outside, but I have to wait until daylight. I’ve taken a self-defense class and hold a key pointing out while I run to my car when leaving somewhere late at night. I tell my girlfriends to text me so I know they got home safe. This is my reality, so excuse me if I don’t think your jokes are funny. Sexual assault is real and happens to 1 out of 6 American women. That’s not joke material.

I am hoping that this was just a lapse in judgement, foot-in-mouth kind of moment. It happens, I know. But PLEASE — open up your mind and put a little more thought and care into your words.

This goes for many different things. You never know what someone else is going through. Let’s all try to be a little more aware.


Take me back to Paradise Valley

I can’t stop listening to John Mayer and daydreaming about floating on the Yellowstone River. I am constantly torn between wanting to live a normal life and abandoning everything to go live on top of a mountain. Maybe I’ll just write some novels and live off the land. That’s a real dream, right? My sister would come with me. In fact, she said she’ll start calling some realtors today (joke).

I Instagrammed about this but it wasn’t enough. It is ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. Help. Good thing I get to go back to this state in just a few weeks.

Sigh. I love this song.

Also, I’m officially signed up for an actual full marathon. Yikes. Three months to get my life into shape.


Rainy Days and Mondays

Whenever it’s a rainy Monday (or any gloomy day, really) I break out The Carpenters and am instantly cheered up. Why did I not grow up in the 70s? Also, PSA: the entire Brady Bunch series is now on Hulu.

I wish that everyone had to walk around with their Myers Briggs personality written on their forehead (or a name tag would be fine I guess). Then I wouldn’t have to creepily ask everyone I meet, “Have you taken the Myers Briggs? What is your personality? Let’s discuss it in depth.” (Okay maybe I leave out the discussion part, but I will secretly wish that you’ll contemplate your life with me).

Here I go, writing about myself again (well, it is my blog). I’m completely copying the below from a Thought Catalog article because I feel like I could have written it myself. All of these things are way too accurate. So if you ever meet an INFJ, this is probably what’s happening in their brain.

I also realize that all of this might sound kind of dumb to other people. Like why do you care so much about personalities? Idk psychology is interesting, yo.

Struggles Only INFJs Will Understand

  • Being able to predict with eerie accuracy how a situation is going to play out.
  • Having zero interest in casual dating in a world that’s obsessed with flings and one-night stands.
  • The consistent, nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you that you’re not living up to your full potential.
  • Having never met another person like yourself, since INFJs are (a) Only 1% of the population and (b) Usually inside reading a book.
  • Fooling everyone into thinking you’re an extrovert while you’re in public and then confusing the heck out of them when you don’t want to go out tonight because… well, you just don’t want to.
  • When pretty much all of your favorite people are fictional.
  • When you want to go to sleep but your brain wants to stay up analyzing the great mysteries of the universe.
  • When a conversation with someone doesn’t unfold the way you meticulously planned for it to in your mind.
  • Being in tune with absolutely everybody’s feelings except your own.
  • “Funny thing – I already watched our entire relationship play out in my mind. It ended in a painful divorce ten years down the road at which point I lost custody of our beautiful Dachshund Aristotle, whom I loved with all my heart. So no, I won’t be available to go out on a second date with you.”
  • Oscillating between revealing absolutely nothing about yourself to others and then revealing way too much and apologizing for it.
  • Actually, feeling the need to apologize for pretty much any emotion or need that you outwardly express.
  • When you finally find the nerve to open up to a loved one about what you’re thinking or feeling deep down – and then they still don’t get it.
  • Needing close relationships in order to be happy, but also needing a lot of alone time in order to be happy.
  • Being intellectually gifted but also entirely out of touch with the world around you.
  • Kind of fitting in everywhere but really fitting in nowhere.
  • When you occasionally remember that the rest of the world doesn’t live life almost entirely inside of their minds – and honestly having no idea what that must be like.

And here are some more songs because… rainy Monday. 🙂



Ranting on a Monday

I keep seeing these DUMB things in the news about Japanese social media trends where girls are taking pictures to show that their waist is skinnier than a piece of paper or that their legs are thinner than an iPhone screen.

And today in the news, The Japan Society of Eating Disorders reports that treatment for eating disorders in Japan is “inadequate” and that the pressure to be thin has “gone too far.” Well DUH guys.

As someone who has navigated the ins and outs of disordered eating, I like to keep up with this stuff. I am passionate about it. But it’s not something people like to talk about. Like any mental illness, it’s an uncomfortable topic that often goes unnoticed until it’s almost too late.

I suppose I could share articles and rant about my thoughts on my own social media, but would that really do any good? For today, I just need to get some thoughts out, so here is where I’ll put them.

It is our every day thoughts and actions that cause things like this to happen. It’s a side comment from a family member, teacher or coach, who maybe meant no harm at all, maybe not even directed at you, that spirals into thoughts of “I need to be better” and “Why do I look like this?”

Of course we already know it’s about being constantly bombarded with images of seemingly perfect-looking people and ads for weight loss nonsense, but it’s a lot deeper than that. It’s the way people talk about body image. I’m all for body positivity, but why does it have to be such a big deal? Why do we make such a big deal about putting “plus size” women in Sports Illustrated? I mean, that’s great. But talking about how it “makes history” and how she’s a role model for plus size women everywhere is just more labeling and objectifying.

Constantly hearing things like, “she must have gained weight” or “she’s so skinny” or “I shouldn’t have eaten that” or “you’re wasting away over there” or ANYTHING relating to body image is what causes this to happen. People often think they’re giving a compliment, but they don’t realize the damage it can do.

I recently got fitted for a bridesmaid dress and the woman that was measuring me would not stop making comments about my body. “You’re so tall! I can’t believe how tall you are! How tall are you? You’re like a good tall though, not like a bulky, football player tall.” Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but come on, what does that even mean? It made me so uncomfortable. So much so that I’m still thinking about it weeks later.

If it were up to me, no one would talk about it at all. In my opinion, in order for this to get better, the focus on body image needs to end.

I definitely don’t think I’m going to change the world or anything, but I sometimes wish I had the courage to call people out when this happens. I’ve at least tried to explain it to those that I am close to, but I’m still not sure that people get it.

In my perfect world, it would all go away. There would be no Meghan Trainor songs about skinny bitches, no stupid articles about “how to shop for jeans based on your figure,” no entire magazine issues geared towards plus-sized women and no ad campaigns claiming to only use “real, un-retouched models.” My examples mostly have to do with women (because I am one so that’s what I pay attention to), but this definitely affects all genders.

I know what it’s like to put immense pressure on yourself to be perfect, whatever your definition of perfect may be. I’ve done it my entire life. But I’ve finally realized that what you look like on the outside doesn’t matter. It’s how you feel on the inside. If your brain and your body are healthy, you can put two feet on the ground every morning, then who the F cares? Be whoever you want to be.

I guess the point of this is: be mindful of what you say. You never know who could be listening and take it to heart. Also I am scared to post this, but I will anyway.


Things I want to do

This is a list of things I want to do. I’m putting them here in hopes that it will encourage me to actually accomplish them.

Paint more – I have SO much painting and art supplies that just sit around. I’ve made progress on this recently. I have some visions. I feel a watercolor phase coming on…

Read more books – This is currently a work in progress. I downloaded the Goodreads app in hopes that it will help me read more real books. So far I’m doing pretty well, thank you Hennepin County Library. I need to get better at reading on my iPad, but I just prefer holding an actual book and turning real paper pages.

(Re)Learn to play guitar – I took lessons in middle school but I was lame and too obsessed with basketball to actually stick with it. Now my sister makes me videos of herself singing and playing guitar and I want to learn so badly. If only someone would leave a guitar with a FREE sign on the side of the road and I could serendipitously (that’s not a real word but it should be) happen upon it. That would be lovely.

Become a yoga instructor – HOW COOL WOULD THIS BE? I think about this all the time but then get caught up in thoughts like “I don’t look like I could be a yoga instructor” or “I’m not good enough at yoga” but I should probably just shut up and figure out my life. Yoga has helped me so much with my anxiety and overall strength as a person and I would love to be able to pass that on to others.

Skydive – My dad told me he would go skydiving with me for my 18th birthday. Well, guess what: I’m turning 24 in 10 days and it never happened. Someday, I guess.

Do more creative writing – Writing and researching about medical billing, employment litigation, how to market your credit union and toll free phone numbers can sure squash (squelsh? oh I made up another word) the spark of writing creativity in my brain. (Except for when I make a reference to salmon in an article about small business marketing #B2Bwritingnerd). ANYWAY, I always wish I was better at descriptively painting a picture, so I should probably practice by writing more stories, real and fictional. Maybe I should look into a creative writing class. That would be pretty neat(o).

Of course, there are approximately 890 million other things I want to do (and should do), but these are just the ones I was thinking about today.

In other news, if you’re looking for a great movie and feel like bawling your eyes out, I would highly recommend God’s Not Dead 2 (and the first one).

Also, here are some good songs:


Tell grandma this is a bird related emergency

It’s about time I wrote a post like this.

Yesterday my sister texted me, “Let’s go back to the days of driving to Ho Fam in the morning. I feel like we didn’t treasure those days enough.”

My response was “We never treasure any days enough.”

But back then, the simple days were easy to take for granted. Now that I don’t get to see her shining, brilliant face every day, I would love to have some of that time back.

“I think we are as BFF now as we are because we had 20 minutes every morning together and it was our time to make each other un-krabe,” she texted back.

While we owe our sister-ship to a lot more than just those morning drives to school, it definitely sparked something in our relationship. Except for the time I pressed the panic button and instead of helping me turn it off she ran away while people stared and laughed. Still not over it.

We did our best to make that 20 minute drive interesting every single day. Sometimes I would spill coffee all over my white uniform shirt and we’d have to turn around so I could go back and change. Other times I would yell “2 point turn!” (why?) and then back into a snow bank. Many times (like at least 5) the trunk would magically open while we were driving down the highway and we’d have to pull over to shut it (THE TRUNK IS OPEN!!!!). I would make her listen to the same Sugarland and Carrie Underwood songs over and over and one time (in an emergency situation) we had to wipe off the frosty side mirrors with a moldy peanut butter and honey sandwich. And it would be wrong not to mention “Orange Beefer,” aka the guy driving some sort of orange hatchback we saw every single morning without fail. It was a time where we got to yell and be ourselves.

And not every pair of sisters has their very own set of theme days of the week. Even seven years later, Blanche Deveraux Monday, Monkey Baby Tuesday, Hoo Hoo Haa Wednesday, Emotional Thursday and Squirrel-motional Friday still make every day a little brighter.

So all of that reminiscing was purely for my own entertainment, but no one reads this anyway. Also, this is for Loonn.

My sister is the strongest person I know. Her dedication to helping people and determination to making the world a better place are truly inspiring. I strive to emulate her independence and strength every single day. Sometimes I even steal her clothes to be more like her. She laughs at my jokes and calls me out when I’m being dumb (or being the french fry). She also provides me with street smarts because I tend to be the sheltered one.

Basically, she’s going to change the world and I can’t wait to see all that she will accomplish (cliche, I know. Sue me. No. Don’t sue me. That is the opposite of the point I’m trying to make).

Everyone deserves someone who understands them completely (hopefully even more than one person), and my sister is that beautiful person for me. How did I get so lucky?

Her blog is better than mine because she has real stuff to say, so you should probably read it. Especially this post, because it’s about me. Aren’t we so cute just writing blogs to profess our love for each other? blehhhh

Thanks for letting me name your fish. Love you, girlie.